Today is another 30 Days of Truth. Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

This is a controversial issue. No matter what I say it will alienate me from some people, yet it may draw others closer. The only thing worse is Day 19 with Religion or politics, two things not to be discussed at dinner.

Well, it is 30 days of truth so let’s do this…

I was married.

The marriage failed.

It takes two people to make a marriage. In a business aspect if one partner did not contribute then the business would either fail or that partner would be eliminated. Yet in many marriages there is one person who does much if not all the work to try to keep the couple together or keep the house (in the broad sense of the term) functioning. When this becomes too unequal the marriage crumbles, just like the partnership.

How it crumbles varies. One or both look for love elsewhere, even if it is purely platonic after a while if love is elsewhere it is not home. The party that was doing most of the work goes back to the middle ground and waits for the other for a while, then the middle ground dissolves and the relationship is over.

My mom’s parents would have celebrated 65 years on January 19th. My parents have been married for 42 years. My brother for 11. It is a commitment for life, as long as both parties give and take.

No it is not 50/50. Sometimes it is 80/20, other times it is 25/75. The thing about it is that both people need to share, to love each other and be willing to make it work. You can not expect a house to maintain its condition or improve without working on it. The same is true with marriage, you must keep working on it. With dates, with small gifts of love, gifts of love can be as simple as holding hands just because, with acts of passion and compassion…

This is what I know.

Personally I want to marry a man who loves me, who cares about me, and I love and care about him. It must be both ways. That we have enough in common to have common ground and enough differences that we make it interesting. One who wants to travel and understands when I start going on book tours. We both will make a commitment to work together. But my financial situation is such I don’t care to think about that type of future right now…. so that’s for another day…

“But what about gay marriage?” you ask…

My answer is mixed in the words above and in this quote that touches my soul “The heart wants what the heart wants” the grandfather from “Walk in the Clouds.”

That is what I know…

Love, Work, and Love Some More,

MJ Schrader

January 8th will be Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.