22 and 23 Two Wishes
In the 30 Days of Truth here are 2 days. Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
The stories in my past are what made me who I am. They have given me the information and the ability to help others. What has hurt me, made me stronger, better able to handle and hopefully make an easier path for others.
Are do you have regrets?
I would not be human if there were no regrets.
Wish I had not I bought into a business partnership that turned my savings into debt.
Wish I had told the previous business owner what the new owner had (and continues) to do is another.
Wish I had not stayed in relationships I knew were over or…
Wish I had been stronger to say, this relationship needs helps before it gets too hard to revive.
Wish I had not gotten married.
Wish I had called my parents on the 2nd day of the honeymoon and said, please pick me up, the marriage is over… already.
Wish I had not said “it’s ok” when I was felt disappointed or hurt.
Wish I had said, “look I can’t keep giving, relationships are give and take, I need a little.” And I need to remind someone, I need a little romance next week.
Wish I had not gone into accounting
Wish I had started writing sooner.
But the only thing, you or I can change is the future. We can not change the past, no matter how much we may want it to change. So learn from it, grow, and change tomorrow.
Learn, Grow, Love,
MJ Schrader
Read More21 No Accident, BFF Wanted
30 Days of Truth Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Currently the position of best friend is open. Wanted: Female preferred. Have a good sense of humor, a wee bit of A.D.D. And be willing to talk about a wide variety of subjects….
Anyway, what I would do would do is obvious. Visit the friend in the hospital. Then I would do whatever is needed. If that meant take care of the kids as needed. I get overwhelmed with children after a while so it would only be temporarily but I would take care of them.
Live, Laugh, Love,
MJ Schrader
Read More20 Drugs and Alcohol
Next up… Another 30 Days of Truth, Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Wow, we are going into the deep stuff eh?
Doctor's Best Glucosamine/Chondroitin/MSM
I believe in Homeopathic medicine. Therefore drugs in most every sense is not preferred. Unfortunately I get migraines and have tendonitis from severely damaged knee. This means I do keep Ibuprofen and headache medicine (read: generic Excedrin) on hand. I also keep a couple flu meds on hand. Then take a daily vitamin and a joint vitamin, like the one to the right.
Because sinus problems run in the family, I do sinus rinses almost daily. Sometimes adding hydrogen peroxide which is great for colds or cayenne (yup that hurts) for sinus infections. As for doctors, I try to avoid them.
How much?
When I was in high school I was kicked 3 different times by my horse. There was a bone fragment in my arm and still one in my jaw. The other time did not make solid contact. When I was married, after a long work day, I sliced half way through a finger which still bears a minor scar. Yes, I pulled it open daily and poured peroxide and alcohol on it.
Often, such as in that case, I gave time frames, so if it did not improve in X days or it got worse then a doctor appointment would be made. As you are reading this, I must have survived. 
And I have gone to the doctor 2 times for failing to meet the better in X days point and once for getting worse.
Many people get antibiotics for colds. Antibiotics won’t help. Many infections will go away on their own. Then I have a friend and a family member who have gone many times. Both are now allergic to MANY pain killers. One is has reactions to many antibiotics, the other is on antibiotics almost all the time. Probably been on them so long they no longer do anything.
What about alcohol, how do I feel about that?
When I was little, I helped Dad brew beer. He stopped and in the past 3 years we both started brewing. The German ancestry flows there.
And Mike?
Yes, Mike is not German, but he makes a mean margarita. But I am a fan of beer from the store as well, and sangria malt beverage (Bacardi). I enjoy a beer about 3 times a week. Note the picture, a single female grocery run is different from a single guy run, with Caramel Macchiato Creamer, Sangria, and Mike. Ah Mike…
Live, Laugh, Love,
MJ Schrader
Read More19 Religion, Politics and a Tuxedo Cat
Another of the 30 Days of Truth… Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
I do believe those are both topics you are not supposed to discuss around the dinner table. This is another subject where people will curse you, no matter what you actually say. But let’s see if I can dance…
Felix the Cat
Politics is a mud slinging, finger pointing, denying mess. It’s the two kids fighting in the living room and breaking the lamp….
Religion, well, I can say, I grew up in a Baptist Church with both parents being non-denominational and open minded. I found a home in the Episcopal church in my late 20s, the ceremony is nice. I believe in God, I am learning yoga, I believe in the spirit, I believe love.
Now, to tell a story. I have a cat. He’s actually the neighborhood cat and I feed him. His name at my house is Felix. Felix the cat. He visits at least two more houses that have also named him. They call him different names than I do.
That does not mean he’s a different cat for them, he is who he is. He is the same cat, he always was (minus a couple parts). My neighbors do not get mad that he comes over here, nor do I get mad when he goes over there. He does what he does. There are no wars over this cat nor his comings and goings. We all love him and he loves us.
Love, perhaps if we focused a bit more on that …
I can dream, right?
MJ Schrader
Read More18 ~ Marriage is a Commitment to Work Together
Today is another 30 Days of Truth. Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
This is a controversial issue. No matter what I say it will alienate me from some people, yet it may draw others closer. The only thing worse is Day 19 with Religion or politics, two things not to be discussed at dinner.
Well, it is 30 days of truth so let’s do this…
I was married.
The marriage failed.
It takes two people to make a marriage. In a business aspect if one partner did not contribute then the business would either fail or that partner would be eliminated. Yet in many marriages there is one person who does much if not all the work to try to keep the couple together or keep the house (in the broad sense of the term) functioning. When this becomes too unequal the marriage crumbles, just like the partnership.
How it crumbles varies. One or both look for love elsewhere, even if it is purely platonic after a while if love is elsewhere it is not home. The party that was doing most of the work goes back to the middle ground and waits for the other for a while, then the middle ground dissolves and the relationship is over.
My mom’s parents would have celebrated 65 years on January 19th. My parents have been married for 42 years. My brother for 11. It is a commitment for life, as long as both parties give and take.
No it is not 50/50. Sometimes it is 80/20, other times it is 25/75. The thing about it is that both people need to share, to love each other and be willing to make it work. You can not expect a house to maintain its condition or improve without working on it. The same is true with marriage, you must keep working on it. With dates, with small gifts of love, gifts of love can be as simple as holding hands just because, with acts of passion and compassion…
This is what I know.
Personally I want to marry a man who loves me, who cares about me, and I love and care about him. It must be both ways. That we have enough in common to have common ground and enough differences that we make it interesting. One who wants to travel and understands when I start going on book tours. We both will make a commitment to work together. But my financial situation is such I don’t care to think about that type of future right now…. so that’s for another day…
“But what about gay marriage?” you ask…
My answer is mixed in the words above and in this quote that touches my soul “The heart wants what the heart wants” the grandfather from “Walk in the Clouds.”
That is what I know…
Love, Work, and Love Some More,
MJ Schrader
January 8th will be Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Read MoreViva La Vida
Welcome to my personal blog. This blog in various forms and formats has been in existence since 2000. As for why this is called Viva La Vida, it means "live the life" in Spanish, but it is a salute to living life to the fullest. And my hope is that you will live life to the fullest!
This is my personal blog! So viva la vida with me!!