19 Religion, Politics and a Tuxedo Cat
Another of the 30 Days of Truth… Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
I do believe those are both topics you are not supposed to discuss around the dinner table. This is another subject where people will curse you, no matter what you actually say. But let’s see if I can dance…
Felix the Cat
Politics is a mud slinging, finger pointing, denying mess. It’s the two kids fighting in the living room and breaking the lamp….
Religion, well, I can say, I grew up in a Baptist Church with both parents being non-denominational and open minded. I found a home in the Episcopal church in my late 20s, the ceremony is nice. I believe in God, I am learning yoga, I believe in the spirit, I believe love.
Now, to tell a story. I have a cat. He’s actually the neighborhood cat and I feed him. His name at my house is Felix. Felix the cat. He visits at least two more houses that have also named him. They call him different names than I do.
That does not mean he’s a different cat for them, he is who he is. He is the same cat, he always was (minus a couple parts). My neighbors do not get mad that he comes over here, nor do I get mad when he goes over there. He does what he does. There are no wars over this cat nor his comings and goings. We all love him and he loves us.
Love, perhaps if we focused a bit more on that …
I can dream, right?
MJ Schrader
Read More2009 Year of the Roadblocks
In 2008 after attending Unseminar 5, I realized jobs and I were not friends, in fact we were in fact not even on friendly terms. If anything, we have a mutual hatred of each other. (As long as it’s mutual right?) And that it was actually possible to make a living online. But I had promised my clients I would work one more season.
One More Season
Tax season started early in November because our company offered a “pre-season” loan that reduces the refund, by giving clients money now. This early loan bothered me ethically, the interest rate was legal, yet the fees associated with it made it reprehensible. Plus unfortunately this mostly preys on the uneducated and we are “encouraged” to push them to get the loan if they sit at our desk.
Starting in November threw me off schedule for the things I needed to have done before Christmas and on my business. But throwing me worse was that twice I had the boss visit me at my desk to publicly yell at me. During this last season she yelled at me at least a dozen times. Yes, yell, raise her voice and yell at me. No, I am not deaf.
Every tax season, since I started at the new office, I would get laryngitis for almost a week. This year was different, I got it in November, in January, and in late February. 3 TIMES. One co-worker was getting her associates degree online when we were slow, my co-workers on crafts that they would later sell. Yet my writing a book was strictly prohibited. When clients came in, my crafty co-workers were given a moment to get things off their desk, I was not. And in the end I got the least pay that I had received in years.
With the laryngitis and other oddities, it was like being given a big “have you finally had enough?” kind of warning.
Roadblocks
So as soon as tax season ended, my credit card got hit with a HUGE fee for an annual subscription that I didn’t know I had. The company refused to refund my money, because I had “agreed” to the subscription. The credit card company refused to work with me. And now I have a subscription to service that has ebooks and articles written by non-English speaking writers. Mistakes are common.
Salem, my now 10 year old cat was attacked by another cat. It’s happened before, he normally needs a few days to recoup, but he started getting worse not better. The vet prescribed antibiotics, and said he’d might need surgery and come back next week. Next week resulted in the same issuance, so 6 weeks after the first visit he finally had surgery and a final week of antibiotics. 
Just in time for Luna to cut her paw open…
Having not been much of one for being sick (except for the annual laryngitis and a bit of flu then), I was shocked to get the flu in the middle of the summer. Every time I tried to make big progress with one of my businesses I got sick. Blocks appearing to get me discouraged and whenever I wanted to make progress. So it was a bummer… but
Progress was made!
July 20th, I hosted a 12 hour web Ustream marathon. Interviewing different people on how to conquer fear. The book I started writing in 2008 was put on a shelf until I could make money. Yet I produced an ebook and two videos. I created 3 new websites during 2009 that have been my new hub, my business and personal blog (which you are reading). My personality has changed to a stronger and more positive.
While there are some who say I am negative, a lot of my posts here must reflect my own stories of abuse because I cannot tell someone else’s story, nor can I tell what has been disclosed to me personally. Plus if I only include the positive how can I hope to help people find the positive from negative situations, or to realize that they deserve better than abusive situations. Too often we only qualify physical abuse when there are other forms of abuse. In addition sometimes what others view as negative is statement of facts for me.
That’s my story… and I’m stickin’ to it.
So please comment with what have been your roadblocks?
MJ
Read MoreBut he doesn’t hit me…
This is something I’ve heard several times this week. Years ago, I repeated “but he has never hit me” while looking at a marriage that was so wrong. So while I wanted to tell a story about New Mexico, this post is more important.
Regular readers know I was married. Over 12 years have passed, since I asked for us to get counseling, instead after work the house was half empty. Since then I dated guys with whom no future could exist. As a counseling student I know my choices were to “keep me safe” because I didn’t want to trust anyone although now someone is knocking on my heart… but that’s for another post.
Dating my ex-husband, he held my hand and sent “BIG” gifts to work, things for permanent display. Never roses, or dark blue irises that I love or flowers at all. This was all show, but being young and dumb “this meant he loved me.”
Married; the affection he showed in public remained the same, or even grew. The gifts were big and sent to work. Flowers added after much pleading, were given at home with a “I got them from the grocery discount bin” which showed. He barely talked to or touched me in private. Praising my accounting degree he didn’t trust me with his bank information. Yet he never hit me.
After working a 12 hour day, I refused to cook, so he grudgingly bought food for us, although I got food poisoning so bad I slept in front of the toilet. Fixing dinner I sliced my finger almost to the bone, neither time did he care.
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When I disagreed, he would cup my ears, mashing his palms & my hair into my ears. Then would “talk to me” except I couldn’t hear him, and it appeared he was mumbling. If I wanted to be alone, he would grab my arm and force me to stay. But he never hit me.
The contrary messages messed with my self-worth. When I woke up, and saw every bone in my body was visible, I realized “He doesn’t hit me” isn’t good enough. |
I deserve someone who can hold my hand, hug me or kiss me in public or private, in front of family or friends. Someone willing to compromise and honor promises. Someone who would get medicine for me, willing to watch shows I like. I am laid back, but I am not a doormat. This is almost 2010 and I am almost…. respect me for who I am, or walk away. Respect, honor and most important love. Put love first everything else will fall into place.
How about some you may have seen or heard. Excessive teasing. Berating someone in public. Constantly accusing someone of cheating, being mad, sad, or whatever. Name calling. Finding a reason to fight. Here’s one women use a lot, “you know why I am mad.” He or she “doesn’t hit me” is not good enough for me. And I am here to tell you, IT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU EITHER.
So what if your significant other doesn’t hit you. If you use that phrase, your relationship is probably an abusive relationship. Ask for counseling, walk away, whatever, it is time for a change. A relationship is compromise, honor, respect, and love. Actually the first should be love.
Summary:
“Doesn’t hit me” is NOT GOOD ENOUGH. LOVE IS.
Sorry for the rant, but this is something my heart said to talk about this week.
MJ Schrader
Now these 3 remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is ♥ LOVE ♥
Read MoreAnd Finally… Lent ends…
This is the last “Let’s Eliminate Negative Thinking” post, (at least for a while). Today is purely off the cuff. No carefully thought out plan of what this blog will cover. Here it is Lent, and my goal is to eliminate negative thinking. Yet, of late anger and deep frustration have been trying to push themselves into my day. So this blog will be about dealing with the “Negative Thinking” that arises from that.
A huge kink was thrown my way Friday, and caused me a great deal of pain. Because of certain situations, finishing my book has been stalled until after April 15th. Bummer because I was nearing completion. But work and my writing are in conflict.
Unfortunately it seems I don’t do enough work, never mind the more work I do, the more I get paid. Since I have plans to travel this summer, income is very important. Try as I might, the German blood in me begins to boil. Anger seeps into my being. Yet, as my blood boils I recall that blind anger is Negative Thinking.
How easy it would be to lash out, yell out my feelings. Another worker brags about her home business with every other client has worked on it at the office. Anything I have done has been done by my co-workers in forms. What I say and do is turned in and turned against me. It’s seems unfair.
Yet, this is part of life. Life is not fair. There are things that make us want to scream, that cause deep frustration, and make your anger flare. The easy route is to embrace those feelings and follow the instincts that follow.
No, I am not sleeping well, haven’t in over two weeks. But as I got called into the office again, my anger flared, and I caught myself. Closed my eyes for a brief moment, and realized “this too shall pass.” It was time to stop, think beyond this moment, and not create more negative thinking.
Follow my temper, then I would feel worse. Management would then be upset. My co-workers could then get into trouble. Then management, my co-workers and I would all go out into the world and spread more negative…
Wait.
That’s not a good thing.
Instead, I will embrace whatever they tell me. Hopefully my last three days of work will be extremely busy. When it’s not busy, I can think about things to write later. Maybe I can get in some reading. This week I will bring in some brownies. Maybe I’ll make some appetizer.
On April 15th I will thank my boss for another tax season. Pay my co-workers compliments. They are wonderful people. There is a great deal of beauty and love inside each of them. Rather than see the negative, I will choose. I choose to see all the wonder, and amazing values each of them brings. So “Let’s Eliminate Negative Thinking” by controlling the anger, frustration and choose to see the positive.
Love
MJ
Celebrate Moments
Yes, another week in Lent brings another “Let’s Eliminate Negative Thinking” blog post. Special thanks to Joan Adams and Lynette Patterson who inspired “Celebrate Moments.” This series ends April 11th, as Lent ends, then just 4 days later my job ends. While it would be easy for me to say I am thinking nothing but positive thoughts about this, that would be a lie.
Work has not been as busy as I need it to be. There have been incidents that make me realize this is not where I need to be. I have had times when I wish this season was already over, yet that leaves me wondering what to do afterwards. The plan is to have a book finished, but it is still not done. Then the question of will enough copies sell to support me over the summer, and grow enough to make a living. Add into the mix my ex-boyfriend owes me money and whines with each minimal payment. Cross country and some shorter trips over the summer are in my plans, which require both time and money. All of these stress my physical and mental health.
Yet, there are numerous blessings, albeit some disquised. There have been some wonderful repeat clients, whom make me want to stay. Work being slower has given me more time to write. While I am not done, I have never gotten this far in writing a book. With the end of season pay and the book finished, I can have time to write another book, or find my way to pay bills. I reunited with someone online who intriques me, although I haven’t yet told him I’d like to meet him again. He lives cross country, so it will surprise him. Not having traveled much, these cross country trips are exciting.
Life is like that. It’s a mixed bag, no life is 100% bad, yet it’s easy to get focused on all the bad things and forget about the good. Then negative thinking multiplies allowing you to focus on more negative. But there are inspirations and great things everywhere, and in the things you do. Inspire yourself, by looking for the good.
Celebrate something large or small that you did that was great. You made a client smile. You finished a project. You helped someone. Give yourself a present, 10 minutes on a video game, 10 minutes of reading for pleasure. “Let’s Eliminate Negative Thinking” by finding someway or something to make you think positive. Whisper to someone, even if you have to stare into your own eyes in the mirror, “I love you.” Then Celebrate the beauty in life, reward yourself for the good you bring!
I LOVE YOU!
~ MJ
Viva La Vida
Welcome to my personal blog. This blog in various forms and formats has been in existence since 2000. As for why this is called Viva La Vida, it means "live the life" in Spanish, but it is a salute to living life to the fullest. And my hope is that you will live life to the fullest!
This is my personal blog! So viva la vida with me!!