A Must Read for You
Good bye 2010.
You started evil, included the worst summer in my over 30 years of life. Like any roller coaster, there are hills and valleys, thrills and disappointments. The journey teaches lessons as it goes, as long as we are willing to learn.
The Top 10 Lessons of 2010 will be covered on MJSchrader.com. The first post in the series will run January 2nd. But that is my professional blog, while some of the lessons were personal, I tried to cover professionally. If you are here, you are wanting my personal side. Thank you for followed me for 8 years through all the blog changes.
First the negative
The year started bad, part of the ceiling in my garage collapsing on the first day. Then the year went average other than low income until June 1st, starting the summer from h*ll. My grandmother had unrecoverable stroke, 3 lumps confirmed in Grandaddy’s lungs, treatments are not an option. Rats trashed my garage, weeks of poisoning meant dead stinking rats in my walls during a hot summer, a constant reminder. My dog developed a food allergy, my cat a urinary problem, the plumbing problem. Grandmother died. We worried Grandaddy was going to die. Funeral stuff. My closest friend, knowing my history, turned it against me, attacked me verbally, (attacking my life, boyfriend, and I in January) then disappeared when I asked for help. No other close friends locally. I missed Unseminar 8, WordPress business crashed, Energy biz crashed. People who knew some, how flow was constant, who wondered how I bared it, often I did too. Others stepped in with tons of advice without knowing what was happening, my personality or needs, when what I needed was friends not advice. Money went from tight to even tighter, and then…
and then….
The Good
Vicki seemed to call the times I needed a friend the most. She is more powerful than she knows. Kelly stood beside me, a bright light in the storm. My mom understood, both her and Dad encouraged my dreams. Ethan and Jan offered love. Tam and Rhonda offered gentle guidance that anchored my soul. Fred is my heart and allowed me to step away from the storm. Many of my Unseminar friends (Karen, Kate, Barb, Ann, and others) started contacting, reaching and, guiding me. The Maestas family took me in as my own family shrinks.
Allison, Bonnie, Brenda, Brandi, Holly, Jacqui, Stacie, Steph, SSSemester and many bloggers went from being people I knew, to reaching my soul and heart. The McNana family gave an online family.
Offline, Tayelor and I enjoyed many cups of tea together. Kandi and Leora asked me to share lunch and understanding my tight budget. Susan P and Susan S appeared at the same time, both beautiful radiant souls. Tony gave inspiration. Prince was and is Prince. Keli, Heath and other classmates offered comfort. Then the jump back into SOC that brought more love than before. So many more… so much. Thank you.
Thank you for everything…
my budget may still be tight but…
I have all the riches in the world…
I have all the riches in the world…
I have ALL the riches in the world…
For all I lost, I gained so much more, there was more to this post… stuff about other changes, but the only note that matters currently is love. To everyone reading this, to everyone
Thank you for giving me more than money can ever buy. You are all rockstars.
May your inner rockstar shine with more light than you ever knew was possible.
I Love You!
MJ Schrader
Read MoreA Memory Shared
My parents and I moved in with Dad’s parents before my brother was born. They were looking for a place to live in Texas, but it was also the last two years of my Grandmother’s life. The memories I have are vague as she died in April 1977 just before Ethan was born.
She was determined. She was not supposed to live to see her 5th birthday, because she had gotten so ill (possibly scarlet fever). It damaged her body and kidneys. She was not supposed to live to see my dad’s 5th birthday, and she survived until a month before my 5th…
Her parents and eldest siblings came over from Germany in 1905, so there is a strong tie to Germany. That being said, they moved to the US to become Americans, not German-Americans. So she spoke German, but not often around us. There were little German reminders, such as teaching me “Oh Tannenbaum” instead of “Oh Christmas Tree.” Too many years have passed for me to sing it anymore.
Back then, there were family Christmas parties. These were her side of the family, so the German heritage showed more during these special events. While they used mostly English, terms of endearment were German, especially with children, of which there were very few. They sang “O Tannenbaum” and “Stille Nacht” (Silent Night). There were a few special dishes from Germany, but more often German twists on conventional, such as adding apples to the stuffing. But there was this “Christmas” smell, a German smell of….
Orange, spice, and molasses.
Lebkuchen
You might say like gingersnaps but with orange. She made a cookie that had this smell. My memories are faulty as I was so little. My memories recall stars and icing laces, but stronger than anything was the smell.
Then over Thanksgiving, the sister in law of “that guy in NM” offered me a cookie from a specialty bakery and suddenly I was sitting on the floor in the breakfast room, the bar blocking most of my view of the kitchen. While I couldn’t see much of my Grandmother and Mom in the kitchen much, I could smell the wonderful orange, spice and molasses. With that box, all I could think about was Grandmother’s cookies. Since I was full, I intended to get a cookie the next day, but forgot. The problem with too many choices.
The cookies are Lebkuchen, but no one has her actual recipe. Actually there are a couple of recipes the family wants but we do not have. A few years ago I looked for “Pink Stuff” and came across something my family loves. We are still looking for a Cranberry Relish recipe.
However, with a little help from friends, we found a similar recipe. After some variations from memory my kitchen smelled of Lebkuchen (Lebkuchen Recipe). The major variation was making icing with confectioners sugar and orange juice (instead of water). The recipe was “it.” Exactly what I remembered, more importantly what my parents remembered.
It brings back warm memories. The family parties are gone. The sisters are gone, only one brother remains. As my blood family disappears, I felt the need to revive a memory.
Now I share it with my new family. You, my friends, and the family in NM.
Leben Sie, Lachen, Liebe, (live, laugh, love)
MJ Schrader
PS Two videos, so you can hear the songs in German.
PPS Look forward to the next of the 30 Days of Truth on the 12th.
O Tannenbaum
Stille Nacht
New Mexico and New Thoughts
This time last week I was in New Mexico, spending time with “That Guy in NM.” The trip? It was an adventure from start to finish.
Change of Plans
The energy sales I went into, resulted in exactly zero sales in one month. To work that hard and get nothing is more than disappointing. To see that parking went up by $2 per day was disappointing. The plane sat on the tarmac for quite a while, then we arrived over 30 minutes late. “That guy” is working, so he arranged for his brother to pick me up at the airport and sent his number. His brother tells me his wife is picking me up, but his phone dies before I get her number. My luggage didn’t catch the same flight I did. Spending time with his family while “that guy” got off work, turned into being dropped off at one of their branch offices. After the luggage arrived an hour and half later, things started back towards plans. Needless to say with all these “changes of plans” I was STRESSED.
I still waited for him to get off work and arrive in the city where I was… but “that guy” is the ultimate salesman. He got us a nicer hotel for just a bit more money than another. He also wrangled free breakfast, and they had a super nice buffet, with wonderfully delicious fresh fruit, which is great because we spend the next 2 days camping.
Family and Friends
There are campers, really good considering how cold it was. Really wonderful neighbors, one who brought us slices of coconut custard pie. I’ve had coconut pie… I love coconut pie. 
I’ve had custard pie, I really like custard pie. Coconut custard??? I had that piece wolfed down in a heartbeat. It was so heart-warming to me to be like these neighbors, no blood, but part of the family.
This year has been crazy. Mom’s mom died. That leaves only her dad. Dad’s family is gone. When Grandaddy dies, mom’s family will be gone. It’ll be my parents, my brother his wife and me. Some friends that I thought were close, didn’t call to check on my mom or me. It’s funny; in a way, they are mad at me (right now) not wanting them in my inner circle anymore. They want to be close friends or not friends at all, when they weren’t friends when I needed.
So here is my family is small, my friends circle is off kilter while I try to rebuild my inner circle, and in New Mexico, another world. Their family is big. “That guy” is one of 6 children. There are nieces and nephews, there are uncles and aunts, there are cousins. There are people who are not related but are extended family members. To me this is beyond amazing. Everyone asks about each other, and knows about “family” blood or not This is what I think life SHOULD be like!
“That guy in NM”
Then there is that guy. He amazes me. Some might say he’s rough and crude. He is a guy. He and I went on a private jeep ride. It was insane! Up hills, down hills, into crevices, it was wild. We acted like a couple that had been dating for months when we met. Now we have fallen into a routine of acting like we’ve been together for years and years. 
Thinking
It was cold there. I packed for 30s in the morning 60s during the day. Not for weather remaining in the 30s most of the day. Anyway, in the cold, we had times of warming up in campers and cars, and I started thinking. The energy business did not work, it may later, but why not pour energy into my old design store. It always sells items, just not many. Another thought was a business I loved; selling cards. The goal is to make money. Mom told me that she doesn’t want to see me in the medical field (you don’t either) or truck driving, the two job options right now. So selling cards, getting my design store up and running, and maybe selling domain names are my real options.
Guess, we’ll see what I decide to do soon. You probably see the 30 Days of Truth on this blog. That’s still going. I am doing one every few days, too many other things going on to handle it every day
How was your Thanksgiving? Are you ready for Christmas?
Please comment below and 3 more things…
Live, Laugh, Love,
MJ Schrader
ADDED: MOTION SICKNESS WARNING!!
PLEASE NOTE Thank you Barb (hugs)
Please visit boattobeachdecor.com if you don’t want to watch a bumpy Jeep ride.
THIS IS THE JEEP RIDE! THE BUMPY CRAZY ONE!
You have been warned!
Family is Love
April was chaotic. The third weekend, my mom and I drove to Florida to visit her family. Before anyone gets excited and talks of beaches and palm trees, let me specify we were just south of Alabama. Peanuts and pine trees and 3 hours from the beach.
Her parents celebrated 64 years together in January. There’s a very strong possibility there will not be a 65th anniversary. Both are on home hospice. It was hard seeing them, even harder talking to the hospice nurse explain an ever dizzying amount of drugs, while I could not repeat their names, the names were familiar enough to mean the end is near.
My cousin lives on their property with her kids, so she can check on them. My aunt and uncle live just up the road. So it is reassuring to know they are close, yet I do not wish to live closer.
I have written before that blood does not make a family to me, and every visit reminds me of such.
The thing is both grandparents have brothers and sisters. These great aunts and uncles are people I never met. At one point or another they had a falling out with this one and that one, til finally it was just them.
My Dad’s dad is the same way. It is unknown how many brothers and sister he had. He hated them all, so it was a strange day in my late 20s when he said I should visit “Mary… MY SISTER” whom I had never heard of before.
So in my life I grew up “knowing” that at any point in time, I could suddenly not have a family.
3 grandparents, 1 aunt, 2 cousins, 1 brother, 2 parents… could suddenly disown me. Maybe my parents would not… but maybe they would… It builds a huge fear factor growing up that you don’t have words to express to your parents.
And then in my early 30s the tables reversed. My grandmother’s family is full of love, and shared it even though she passed away over 25 years ago. My parents and I were at the birthday party of my grandmother’s sister, Dad’s aunt. Grandad walked up to me and proceeded to ask what was wrong with me that I was not dating. I said “I am just not interested” and walked away. He brought his girlfriend to me, “I am dating, a man my age is dating why don’t you date?” Again I made a remark and walked away. This time he cornered me. There was no place for me to go… “What is wrong with you? Why aren’t you dating? What is wrong with you?” I was shaking and biting my lip to keep from crying.
My dad jumped in, and told my grandad off. I don’t know what he said because he told me to leave and I did. Dad told me to treat my grandad the same way he treated me. We stopped talking other than brief hellos. When he fell, his mean streak that had been fairly contained grew out of hand. Women were nothing more than property, so Dad was a buffer IF we said more than hello and how are you to him.
So, when people ask me what family means… I say “love.” Family is not blood. Family is people who love each other, who share a sameness. People who make you feel like you are not a part of them, who may disown you if they feel like it… that’s not family. Family is love.
~ MJ Schrader
Read MoreImma Be Living the Good Life
So I said there was a lot to cover since my babysitting absence. Perhaps my hesitation in personal writing has been that some personal stuff has happened. Some really great things that in some ways I am still trying to understand. But let’s sequence the wavy flashback effects now…
SNOW!
In February we had snow. Now for some people that’s no biggie, but for where I live, snow is a surprise. Snow that actually sticks to the ground for more than a few hours is a shocker. Snow for a few days?
Valentine’s and a House Guest
A few days before Valentine’s Day this snow moved in and then my boyfriend from NM visited while the snow was still here. This was my first Valentine’s with someone in 4 years which was nice, but a stress because I haven’t had anyone stay in my home for a couple of days in many years. I’d rather not admit it, but I have become a bit used to bachelorette life.
So here were 3 things that were bit amazing happening. Then another happened as well. My family is small. A family reunion would be 17 people with significant others, and 4 generations included. Since the family is small you would expect us to be close… you’d think… Then pictures must be made quickly before people see the camera. Most certainly they don’t pose like we did below.
Brunch
And my boyfriend’s cousins invited us to brunch at their house an hour from here. The cousin who I already knew through Facebook gave me a hug. His sister and her family, I didn’t know and they invited us in warmly. We laughed and talked in the kitchen while brunch was being made. Everyone interacting like families should.
We ate brunch. Sharing food, discussing the new dishes, accepting imaginary tea from the 2 year old’s tea cart. Then we cleaned up together and laughed at music videos. Later we went out on their boat. A 42 foot boat with a cabin. The biggest boat I’d ever been on, we cranked music, while the girls fled from the “old people dancing” and in the midst of it all “Imma Be” came on.
Imma Be
It’s the first time I heard the song. Dancing on a boat. Surrounded with LOVE. My boyfriend, who makes my heart light. A family who loves each other. And my writing career growing. I felt loved. I felt amazed. And I felt incredibly at home.
“Imma be living the good life. The good, good, life. Imma be living the good life.”
yea… I am…
♥ MJ
PS. The next post will bring us back to current times!
Silly video recorded while the song was playing… a beer with frozen head …
For The Official Video
By Black Eyed Peas Imma Be
Read MoreViva La Vida
Welcome to my personal blog. This blog in various forms and formats has been in existence since 2000. As for why this is called Viva La Vida, it means "live the life" in Spanish, but it is a salute to living life to the fullest. And my hope is that you will live life to the fullest!
This is my personal blog! So viva la vida with me!!