Posts Tagged "honesty"

A Week of Tears Answered My Questions

Posted by MJ on Jan 23, 2012 in My Truth | 2 comments

With one statement she brought me to tears. It wouldn’t be the last time I cried that weekend, nor that week.  And for days it seemed tears were always on the edge of spilling over.

Accidentally stepping on a ball the week before, smashing into a wall so hard it left bruises on my shoulder, knee and head (that order of seriousness) and twisting my back muscles in attempt to save myself, I didn’t cry.  In fact later I laughed over it…  (as much as you can laugh after being very sore from hitting a wall.)

What did she say that brought me to tears?

“You need to stop running after everything… you have too many goals” Stephanie Raindow Bell was doing some spiritual coaching.  Renee Corbett is my work coach, so this was different. Stephanie told me her goals and how she was told to focus on one.

Self Respect Clarity

Posted by MJ on Nov 30, 2011 in Inner Rockstar | 0 comments

In order to make people happy I have compromised. I have agreed with things because it would make someone else happy or at least not mad. Even if this meant I didn’t enjoy it, I could tolerate it because the other person was more important than me.

The problem is that often they did not become happy because of my sacrifice. So this was a pointless sacrifice to martyr myself. That wasn’t my intent, but that allowed people to bulldoze over me, and disregard my feelings and view… or did it?

What I killed was my self-respect, because “we should love our neighbors as ourselves” cause the Bible says to. But I didn’t love myself, I did it to make others love me and so they didn’t, and I didn’t really love them.

Think about that wording… “as ourselves” so if you treat yourself bad, and hate yourself what about those poor neighbors. You can’t love them any better than yourself so stop trying to martyr yourself…

The Lies People Tell

Posted by MJ on Sep 16, 2011 in My Truth | 4 comments

“I don’t ever post anything bad on Facebook. *YOU* shouldn’t if you are going to post success things.”  Thus begins a lecture from someone who has a book on how to get rich, who makes just enough to cover her Virtual assistant.  ”You are lucky don’t have kids” she tells me.  While I had to give up my dream of having children I have no right to be upset because she lost one (and then had 2 more).

Her calls then dissolves into a gossip fest, asking about various people and if I think they are going to reach success before “us” when she really means her. She calls when she needs something or to lecture me about talking about children or boyfriends.  She’s been married for 20 years but apparently she knows what it’s like to be single for 20 years.

At least I am real. I am not lying about being rich or being happy 100% of the time.

I get tired of being told by people who are married with children that they are alone all the time “just like you.” 95% of my meals are alone even at a restaurant. Not that you can’t be alone with others. 3 days of marriage and I thought of calling my parents to pick me up from the honeymoon. 5 words were spoken in 4 hours that morning. The last boyfriend wasn’t much better in that regard. He got mad at me several times and we drove 2 hours here or there with a dozen words, typically mine, in trying to get him to talk.

Broken Promises

My life has been full of broken promises. I realize everyone has them, but…

The Truth Will Set You Free

Posted by MJ on Aug 16, 2011 in My Truth | 0 comments

*sigh*

So I sorta, kinda lied here last week.  Forgive me.

Well, Working Angel is a truth, but not the truth.  Meaning it is something I believe at this point in time, but the story is I wanted to write and didn’t want to discuss the real issue.   Of course I have the option, on what I discuss here or do not discuss, but….  this was probably something I should discuss, because that discussion may help others, and at this point in time I am curious how many more times I can mention discuss in this particular sentence.

See I am more honest about how my mind works and how it rambles along on it’s own path, but that’s not the issue at hand.

98% of the time that I am awake I am thinking about things.

How to do I get this site to talk to that site.  What will make Mike’s site look better?  How can social media be made easier for Sarah?  Wonder what SN needs to improve sales?  Can I write a book in a month?  What will that book cover to really help people?  Am I helping people right now?  Have I eaten? Have I emailed Barb?  Scott?  Sarah? Mary?  Lee? Karen?  Thomas? Can my readers tell I have an issue with emailing people when I should?  Has Tony emailed me back? on and on and on and on….