The Changes of Marky Mark Wahlberg
The other day, I was going to tell you about Marky Mark Walberg. When my good friend visited, we watched Four Brothers with Mark Walberg. Way back in the 1990s you probably remember a young rapper named Marky Mark.
That was not his name. Yet that was the name he went by. He pushed himself as a rapper, and was known for that world. After a while he made a slight change and became known as a Calvin Klein model. Wearing his pushed down pants we saw the tops of his boxers that sported that CK label.
Later he became Mark Wahlberg the actor.
The actor completely reinvented himself from the rapper of old, thus the new name. Other rappers have reinvented themselves as actors as well, some have shed names, some merely shed that old identity. People reinvent themselves as well, yet so often we hold them to the same measuring stick that was used before. This is total inaccurate and unfair for them and for us as well.
See they have changed, and we choose to see the old person, we are denying them the ability to show us their full colors. For years I was both shy and extremely introverted. It seemed risky and not worthwhile to me to let others inside, for they would seek out ways to hurt me and I felt weak.
Read MoreI’m Mad Today
I’m mad.
I don’t want to be …. but I am.
I’m mad that I should be getting ready to leave for a seminar tomorrow, but I’m not. I’d looked forward to this seminar for months. The education, the networking, the getting out of the house, the working and growing and developing of friendships….
I’m mad that I got invited to another seminar and I don’t know how to afford to go.
I’m mad over the fact that grandaddy died. (silly I know and I know I can’t change it… but today it makes me mad) I’m mad that there is some family that remains on that side, but I won’t hear from them again. They’ve only called twice in the past 10 years, once was a mis-dial, the 2nd was to tell me to take down family pictures I had on myspace… (they were hidden from most people, except my close friends and that dear cousin) Dad’s family died 4 years ago. Mom’s is now gone…
I’m mad that there is no future generation. My parents, my brother, my sis-in-law and me.
I’m mad over men who only want to see my exterior, and not see the smart, compassionate, passionate person inside.
I’m mad that I don’t know what it’s like to be in MUTUAL love, to have some man love me.
Read MoreThe Long Dark Night
The title has less to do with this post than the hour, and the sleep that is alluding me. It’s fast approaching midnight. Asleep I should be, yet here I am with pen and pad writing the post you read here. My mind races with thoughts.
Why do the sideline characters in Stephanie Meyers’ books have greater depth than Bella and Edward? Or is my view of romance so jaded that I know nothing of it.
“Romance is not the same for everyone” a friend tells me. “Sometimes they don’t give gifts but they provide, or take care of things, like gassing your car and getting the oil changed.”
This is all foreign to me. One husband, three boyfriends and only one filled up my car, because we were traveling in it. The ex-boyfriend made 2 repairs to my house so I would reduce the amount he owed me. The new boyfriend is far away and works all the time, so I seldom hear from him. While people lecture me about not understanding romance, they don’t know that I wonder if anyone has ever been in love with me. I have bent, caved, and wondered why they typically negate where I like to eat, or the trip where I want to go and barely tolerate or ignore my dog. A couple should both work on the relationship, not one person working and giving. That’s not love is it? The thing in common is me. Am I not lovable?
Read MoreA Lot of Espresso and Contests
So, this is what my brain is like on ADHD. This will be mostly unedited other than I do like to spell correctly. Please read this… first http://theoatmeal.com/comics/misspelling
This was my response when Darcy Vail posted it. It’s definitely weird that I have to ride a manatee to school. But he can hold his liquor better than the panda bear. We both oddly posted the link today… so yes I will be editing any grievous grammatical errors.
Why? Because I will be a multi-time best selling author. If I survive.
See today I am in full ADHD, I have been writing about espresso machines and X-men statues and more espresso machines. Espresso machines produce caffeine which is supposed to “wake” people up, however for me when I reach that kind of level, it causes arrhythmia. To me, who has given up sodas, most flavored beverages, coffee has become my thing. I can’t say it’s an addiction because I go without it at least twice a week.
But today I realized that an americano is roughly like a coffee, and an espresso machine can make cappuccino, which I like. It can make other drinks as well, but I don’t know if I like them. See I am researching espresso machines for a review site. They wanted 10 reviews, which has meant a lot of learning about the machines. Note A Lot. 1) Space between A and Lot. 2) I knew espresso machines were at coffee shops.
Athletic and musical talents are not mine… instead I am the person who could only play dodgeball. This was due to vast experience at PE with a ball coming rapidly at my head with the words “DODGE THIS!! YOU SUCK AT (insert game with a ball)” being screamed. Dodging was easier because if I attempted to catch said ball I’d somehow hit myself with it.
But I am competitive.
Yes, I can deny it. “Yes, that’s so cool you just made 50 baskets in a row! And I made one, which was a freak deal of how the ball bounced off that car way over there.” While secretly inside I am screaming I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU! Which I don’t really, but you are no longer on my Christmas list.
Because I want to be able to play sports. I can write. So I choose to fill up my life with random writing contests.
- You want 200 articles? Ok.
- You want 8 lens in 8 weeks and I joined 4 weeks in? Ok!
- You want 10 reviews on a mysterious machine that makes concentrated (espresso) liquid of the gods? OKAY!
- You want me to write 100 words on every Zazzle design? OK!
- Look another blog contest! OKAY!
Because the 200 articles, 8 lenses, 10 reviews, and my personal writing are not enough writing obviously.
See, apparently in addition to being quite horrible at sports and music, I rather suck at getting good jobs and dating. Although Michael Buble just told me “I haven’t met you yet” but considering he’s dating a model I think I am out of luck. He’s actually the 2nd Canadian that has caused me heartbreak, the other one is Matthew Perry. 
The Law of Attraction peeps tell me to believe. Visualize something and hold it firm and it will become reality. BULL CACA
Ok, if you have read this blog, you know I have wanted to be a writer since I was 5. The dream got squished. (picturing bug smooshed out like an ink blot) Yet, there was another dream, that was equally as vivid. It involves loads of numbers… so let’s do this.
At college I was going to meet a nice, sweet, smart, guy. After we graduated we’d get married, around 23. We’d each find jobs we loved. I’d work my job for 30 years because it would be a job I loved and made me feel fulfilled and happy, although I would have time off to have some children. 3 children, it’d be like a sandwich, 2 girls with a boy in between or vice versa. They should be between the ages of 13 and 4. We’d live in a 4 bedroom house on a one acre property with trees and a beautiful goldfish pond. We’d have 2 cars, 1 truck. 2 dogs 1 cat. We would happily celebrate anniversaries together and have wonderful family vacations.
This was the way things were supposed to be. I knew it. I believed it.
Jobs were far from fulfilling. The one job that was, had the problem all of them did. Bosses that yelled, screamed and called me evil wicked names. The marriage was a bust. Dating? Well, my boyfriend is 700 miles away and we see each other once every 4 months. WHOO HOO!! Romantic!
Michael Buble music is incredibly romantic. And it kills me that money is tight, and that I can’t afford his MP3 albums but then the songs I love seem to be scattered across various ones which makes me unhappy.
So I find another contest.
This has become my solution to everything. I don’t know how I am going to pay this bill. OH, I know! Since there are no jobs available I’ll get in another writing contest. Now you are saying no jobs? Well, okay nursing and trucking. Both require training. I have 2 dogs and 2 cats. The outside dog is a male with 70 pounds of “mark/pee on everything.” Yes, I do not want them in a truck with me, and I don’t want to leave them. The nursing? My solution to everything would be to vomit on it.
I suck at jobs. OO CONTEST!
Why contests? I figure I can write until the world drowns in my writing. Since my writing is everywhere people will have no choice but to use it as currency. Then I can pay bills and I can get out of this house into that 4 bedroom house on 1 acre and a goldfish pond. Except now that will be a GREEN LOW ENERGY 2 bedroom, guest suite, office, and theater room, 3 bath on 1 acre with 2 English Cocker Spaniels and 2 cats and a goldfish pond.
All I need to do … IS ENTER ANOTHER CONTEST!!
Or say the word. See I was never going to get a divorce. Never going to own a cell phone. Never going to stay in this house for 7 years. So I will NEVER MAKE $500 MILLION A YEAR.
So there.
I didn’t plan to write this much… but it’s great prep for the next contest.
Live, Love, RANDOM!
MJ
Read More22 and 23 Two Wishes
In the 30 Days of Truth here are 2 days. Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life. Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
The stories in my past are what made me who I am. They have given me the information and the ability to help others. What has hurt me, made me stronger, better able to handle and hopefully make an easier path for others.
Are do you have regrets?
I would not be human if there were no regrets.
Wish I had not I bought into a business partnership that turned my savings into debt.
Wish I had told the previous business owner what the new owner had (and continues) to do is another.
Wish I had not stayed in relationships I knew were over or…
Wish I had been stronger to say, this relationship needs helps before it gets too hard to revive.
Wish I had not gotten married.
Wish I had called my parents on the 2nd day of the honeymoon and said, please pick me up, the marriage is over… already.
Wish I had not said “it’s ok” when I was felt disappointed or hurt.
Wish I had said, “look I can’t keep giving, relationships are give and take, I need a little.” And I need to remind someone, I need a little romance next week.
Wish I had not gone into accounting
Wish I had started writing sooner.
But the only thing, you or I can change is the future. We can not change the past, no matter how much we may want it to change. So learn from it, grow, and change tomorrow.
Learn, Grow, Love,
MJ Schrader
Read MoreViva La Vida
Welcome to my personal blog. This blog in various forms and formats has been in existence since 2000. As for why this is called Viva La Vida, it means "live the life" in Spanish, but it is a salute to living life to the fullest. And my hope is that you will live life to the fullest!
This is my personal blog! So viva la vida with me!!