Posts Tagged "relationships"

Changing One Person

Posted by MJ on Sep 7, 2011 in Relationships | 0 comments

Here is the deal… I’ve been thinking about this for quite a while. The way I see it, there are only two truths in this world. Once you learn those, accept those and live by those, everything else will fall into place.  I said I would discuss both in this post, but I will only be able to discuss one, otherwise this post runs way too long.

This is not to say that it is an easy decision to make. The truths are not easy to accept, to learn from and implement. In some ways it will be like trying to break an addiction and all the difficult choices one must make to make a change in life. It also means making sometimes minute by minute choices.

Choices

There are some who say once you become an addict there will never change. Many addiction places tell you that you will fail. If you tell people that they will fail, are you really going to be surprised when they do?

Seriously people; we all make choices, to succeed or fail … for that

Shocking Way To Start Friday

Posted by MJ on Aug 26, 2011 in Life | 0 comments

Many people know I walk every day… today was no different.

Got up a little early.  Finally decided how to handle a client…

The Client Story

This client wanted me to build a website, so I built the test site on my website.  Test sites are for looks only. Not the actual site.  I told her she’d need hosting for her website.  She said her relative had hosting.  I said I’d need access.

She told me she wanted to see the pages she wanted on the site. She had paypal buttons for things, I explained that I would need access to set those up right.  With that email she told me she wanted to set access rights (like a membership site) and on this other send out an email automatically.  And… and…

So I told her what all of those things would need and I’d need access.  Again she tells me her relative can set up me with access.  She sends me downloads, tons of them.  Yet again, no access.  So I load this in a way it should load that stuff even after a site move.

She wants a full refund of her down-payment now because

My Relationship Mistakes

Posted by MJ on Jun 19, 2011 in Relationships | 0 comments

As the last relationship ended, I realized it was time to take a hard look at what mistakes were being made in my relationships. Life is about improvement, and analyzing your past and repeated mistakes can help you grow and improve your future. Since my goal involves a serious long term relationship unfortunately it means digging into my past and my behaviors.

But let’s back up…

There was something in May. A very very nice man I met at a seminar. Being the “good girl” and not feeling free, I pushed him away a bit the 2nd day of the seminar. (If you read this, I’m sorry.) A month before, I had broken up with the man who said he didn’t love me, yet he still wanted us to ‘have fun’. Boy am I naïve and didn’t get his meaning but knew I wanted more so I broke up again days after the seminar and 2 days before my birthday… great birthday present to myself.

Yet there is the first problem I have with relationships. I know I want something lasting. Mom’s parents were together til death. My parents are still together. My brother and his wife are together 11 years later. Yet I don’t say that to the guys I date, whom are looking for someone for right now….

A line they often repeat as their fear has nothing to do with me wanting long term but they are worried because I have a college degree and they didn’t have one. I argued the degree didn’t matter, they said it would come between us, and we were both right. The problem was they stopped learning, they learn what they must, where as I grew up with 6 floor to ceiling bookcases in the living room, and one in my own room. The day to stop learning is the day you stop living (to me)… and not part of their ideals. They weren’t even readers….

I give, they take.

My heart is generous, which worked in their favor.

The Mother’s Day Story

Posted by MJ on May 15, 2011 in Uncategorized | 5 comments

(this post got hung up as my website crashed, it happens.  Just like files on your computer get corrupt thus is it with websites or servers on occasion, this is why you should always back things up)

Last Sunday was Mother’s Day…

This was the first mother’s day where I accepted that there will not be children in my future. There is no longer “maybe in a few years… ” and while I wanted to write this post, I could not.

Yes, I’m sure you know someone who was in their 40s and such and such happened and then suddenly they were so happy to be pregnant.

My doctor and I have talked over the years, this was our deadline. He knows my medical history, and knows my family history. The few years ended last year, but some part of me held on to some fantasy that I still had a remaining chance.  But that aside this would also assume that any of my relationships lasted longer than an elephant’s pregnancy.

This is why I wrote a certain post on Facebook, and have decided to take James Fisher’s comment as a challenge…

Yes,

The Long Dark Night

Posted by MJ on Mar 31, 2011 in Life | 0 comments

The title has less to do with this post than the hour, and the sleep that is alluding me.  It’s fast approaching midnight.  Asleep I should be, yet here I am with pen and pad writing the post you read here.  My mind races with thoughts.

Why do the sideline characters in Stephanie Meyers’ books have greater depth than Bella and Edward? Or is my view of romance so jaded that I know nothing of it.

“Romance is not the same for everyone” a friend tells me. “Sometimes they don’t give gifts but they provide, or take care of things, like gassing your car and getting the oil changed.”

This is all foreign to me. One husband, three boyfriends and only one filled up my car, because we were traveling in it. The ex-boyfriend made 2 repairs to my house so I would reduce the amount he owed me. The new boyfriend is far away and works all the time, so I seldom hear from him. While people lecture me about not understanding romance, they don’t know that I wonder if anyone has ever been in love with me. I have bent, caved, and wondered why they typically negate where I like to eat, or the trip where I want to go and barely tolerate or ignore my dog.   A couple should both work on the relationship, not one person working and giving. That’s not love is it? The thing in common is me.  Am I not lovable?