Posts Tagged "truth"

A Week of Tears Answered My Questions

Posted by MJ on Jan 23, 2012 in My Truth | 2 comments

With one statement she brought me to tears. It wouldn’t be the last time I cried that weekend, nor that week.  And for days it seemed tears were always on the edge of spilling over.

Accidentally stepping on a ball the week before, smashing into a wall so hard it left bruises on my shoulder, knee and head (that order of seriousness) and twisting my back muscles in attempt to save myself, I didn’t cry.  In fact later I laughed over it…  (as much as you can laugh after being very sore from hitting a wall.)

What did she say that brought me to tears?

“You need to stop running after everything… you have too many goals” Stephanie Raindow Bell was doing some spiritual coaching.  Renee Corbett is my work coach, so this was different. Stephanie told me her goals and how she was told to focus on one.

I Choose to See the Good

Posted by MJ on Dec 1, 2011 in My Truth | 0 comments

Yesterday I told you about the day after Thanksgiving.

While it felt good to see him again after a year (to the day), and even kiss him, it felt pretty crummy to keep his touches appropriate. It felt good that he said he’d like to see me again and was planning future dates (long distance) but it felt crummy because it seemed like something he was doing so I’d agree to invite him home. It felt really crummy that he cussed when I left, but felt good that I went home alone.

But calling me repeatedly between 2:22 and 2:58, waking to find that he unfriended me. And when I called at 8 am, it seems all the phone calls were to tell me how we “didn’t see each other” and shouldn’t say that cause his family questioned him, (at 2am?) and he unfriended me to keep me from saying anything else.

Of all the things that happened this phone call bothered me the most. So I emailed a couple girl-friends and asked their opinions of what in the world had happened and was I wrong…

Well, they all agreed he acted like a jerk and I shouldn’t feel bad. And agreed it hurts to be turned into the villain. They gave different reasons for why he did it, which I needed, because I am a woman and I wanted to hear different opinions to decide what my truth was…

But here is the truth…

12 Current Things about Me

Posted by MJ on Oct 17, 2011 in My Truth | 4 comments

Sadly I’ve been upset the past week or so, things have gotten to where they were going really cool, I was really excited about changes in life.  I was so excited that I forgot the blog post to share was going to cover Marky Mark Walberg… and how his name changed and how your life changes and how we go through all this stuff, and I forgot.

Then another article was going to cover just do it anyway, at which point I got slapped in the face with fish …  –>

So here are some things that are on my mind, and maybe by dumping these off my shoulders it will cheer me up and maybe you can understand this corner of Loco and Logical.

The Lies People Tell

Posted by MJ on Sep 16, 2011 in My Truth | 4 comments

“I don’t ever post anything bad on Facebook. *YOU* shouldn’t if you are going to post success things.”  Thus begins a lecture from someone who has a book on how to get rich, who makes just enough to cover her Virtual assistant.  ”You are lucky don’t have kids” she tells me.  While I had to give up my dream of having children I have no right to be upset because she lost one (and then had 2 more).

Her calls then dissolves into a gossip fest, asking about various people and if I think they are going to reach success before “us” when she really means her. She calls when she needs something or to lecture me about talking about children or boyfriends.  She’s been married for 20 years but apparently she knows what it’s like to be single for 20 years.

At least I am real. I am not lying about being rich or being happy 100% of the time.

I get tired of being told by people who are married with children that they are alone all the time “just like you.” 95% of my meals are alone even at a restaurant. Not that you can’t be alone with others. 3 days of marriage and I thought of calling my parents to pick me up from the honeymoon. 5 words were spoken in 4 hours that morning. The last boyfriend wasn’t much better in that regard. He got mad at me several times and we drove 2 hours here or there with a dozen words, typically mine, in trying to get him to talk.

Broken Promises

My life has been full of broken promises. I realize everyone has them, but…

Lessons and Life Changes

Posted by MJ on Sep 4, 2011 in Life, Uncategorized | 0 comments

Last week, I said there were lessons to be learned …

What happened was bad. Sleeping that night was hard. It took 4 days before Luna would walk down that street without getting upset. But, lessons were the best thing to take…

Side Note: While I live in a city with leash laws, and fenced yards… it seems many are “above the law.” Twice a month a random stray follows us on our walk, sometimes a block or two, most for several blocks. Some follow us until we get home. Several homes along the walk range do not keep their dogs in a yard. So I recognize them.

Lesson 1: Focus

Sadly, I have been racing all over lately. Working a little bit of everything, yet following no pattern, and wondering why nothing was getting done. It was in many ways becoming a reckless behavior, because it meant I was not taking care of my needs. I realized this as I became increasingly tired, irritable and unhappy with life.

In recent weeks I had started doing things to improve my life and my scheduling; yet, I have not done as well as I should. This was a shocking reminder. And as this is a severe issue for me right now, it is one that will require daily reminders