I started writing a post about how I had been staying up for 30 minutes to 2.5 hours EVERY SINGLE night for about 3 weeks, with my brain churning through circular thinking, of should I or shouldn’t I… What to do about situations that have both pluses and minuses.
- Do I move this website this way? If I do, it could move the viruses with it… Do I move it that way? It’s slower, but cleaner…
- Am I a WordPress designer/ Security person or a business tech trainer? Can I be both?
- What about helping people escape their pain, and helping others see the pain inside people?
- Do I join Jamberry nail wraps? The cost of the wraps puts me halfway towards joining, then I can pay for my new addiction? But can I sell enough?
- Do I tell this client I can’t spend weekends learning new programs without getting paid?
And I guess I still might be staying up for hours if I weren’t so exhausted and I weren’t taking medicine to help with sleep.
So I took some actions. I’m moving the website fast… Design work is a passion, but people want me to teach, I enjoy teaching others about technology. So it is a passion as well. I decided to start doing a twice monthly Google Hangout.
I decided to write 1000 words a day. These would be essays from which I could help people.
Luna, my almost 14 year old dog had an issue. I decided not to take her to the vet, because I thought it was an age issue.
I joined Jamberry, because I want to spread the word, and I want to make enough money to fund my new addiction and a bit extra. And I told the client I need to get paid to learn the new program.
Ok, not really. But I really felt like a failure.
All these decisions quickly were a lot for my very tired body to take, so my body felt even more stressed. I moved the website fast, and multiple viruses moved with it. As brilliant as the idea to do hangouts was, I had no idea what to teach twice a month.
My 1000 words a day has been 100 to 300 words, and not very focused.
I joined Jamberry nail wrap, which is an expense I didn’t need. I told the client no on spending a weekend learning without pay, and was let go. Luna had to go to vet. The last two contributed to the stress of having spent money on joining Jamberry.
All of these points of failure got me feeling very very down. But rather than be silent, I discussed it on Facebook.
Like I do here, I discuss it because if I feel down, and like a failure, because I’m not the only one to feel down or disappointed.
I discussed why, and that I knew I would feel better later, but I don’t want to be the person on Facebook that paints only the rosiest of pictures making someone feel even more alone… Because I’ve been that person that sees all the happy happy posts and wonders am I the only person feeling like a failure…
25 more letters
Making decisions works, if you take action. Thinking in circles of on this hand, but on that hand, is typically done out of fear, and no action ever occurs.
So make a decision. And sometimes Plan A won’t work, and that is ok.
You plan may need minor adjustments, so it becomes Plan A.0.1. Your plan may need bigger changes and become Plan B, and if that doesn’t work maybe Plan C, and maybe even more letters… but the thing is that you are moving forward. You are making progress…
I went back to moving the websites slowly. That was actually plan A, but it is slow and I was questioning if this was right, so now I know it was right.
The hangouts, well I guess I’ll start doing them and wing it until I get comfortable. My friends have lots of questions for me, so I’ll try answering them.
I waited over a year to meet someone selling this and now I am… so no regrets. But I do want my first Jamberry Party to do really well, so if you are reading this, then please share the Jamberry party with anyone you might think is interested. And if you are interested, buy 3 get 1 free, and every 2 people that buy 3 get 1 free, get me 1 more wrap, not that I counting. And it really helps pay for the kit and my current addiction.
La Luna is better after having several tests and being put on antipain, anti-inflammatories, antibiotics and some drops. So Plan B take her to the vet is helping. This plan will likely need adjustments…
It’s always disappointing to lose a client; however, after calculating the hours spent on “extras” for this client, my rate was no where near where it should have been. So Plan B is work on Jamberry above and look for a new client, one who respects both me and the commitment I make to my clients.
Several of these plans may need adjustments. Like I already know I need to add another 2 parties to the Jamberry goals, to hit my goals. Luna may need prescription medicine which will be for remainder of her life.
I am working with Meredith Eisenberg of Paycheck to Passion and I know my business will grow.
The 1000 words a day, well I’m close to reaching that goal today. Between what you are reading here, and this Facebook post… The Facebook post made someone I know feel less alone, and helped her see both what was happening in the past, and sadly what will happen next, since she is leaving her abuser. I just need to commit to writing something like this daily.
You Are Enough…
Some days you will feel disappointed. Some days you will feel like a failure. And that’s ok, because despite what you may be feeling YOU ARE MORE THAN OK. You are enough. You have strength, power, grace and beauty, and some days you may not feel it or see it, but others do.
And when those circles of doubt and indecision appear, make decisions. It’s not easy, but the circles of indecision can’t exist when you make decisions.
Sometimes you will fail… but guess what? It’s ok to fail… remember it isn’t permanent. Get up, dust off yourself off and try a different method. And there may be times when it feels like you have failed 70 times 7, and it will be hard to get up again. Take a break. Talk to someone, get an alternative point of view.
You are more than capable but you are the one who must shake off the fears and believe in you. And you don’t need to be around people who doubt you and your abilities or even worse put them down. Reduce the amount of time with them, so you can learn to believe in you…
Because YOU ARE INCREDIBLE….