Sadly I’ve been upset the past week or so, things have gotten to where they were going really cool, I was really excited about changes in life.  I was so excited that I forgot the blog post to share was going to cover Marky Mark Walberg… and how his name changed and how your life changes and how we go through all this stuff, and I forgot.

Then another article was going to cover just do it anyway, at which point I got slapped in the face with fish …  –>

So here are some things that are on my mind, and maybe by dumping these off my shoulders it will cheer me up and maybe you can understand this corner of Loco and Logical.

1. I really want to move. I mean seriously… “you have a cute house…” blah blah … the plan was this was a starter home for 3 to 4 years and move in 1997… instead I was getting a divorce. I walk 2 miles per day and now it’s a matter of choosing the path of least resistance, fewer loose dogs, safer houses, less traffic (there’s a lack of sidewalks here)…
2. Where I live is my house, the pets make it home… White Rock lake in Dallas feels more at home than my house.  Fortunately recently I decided where  I want to move the northeast corner of the Dallas metroplex (read: Plano, Garland, Sacshe, Richardson, Rowlett) backed up to a greenbelt, near a park, in a eco-friendly, low energy home, near fun things to do, and near more people that i know.    And to all of you in Flower Mound, Southlake, Denton, Fort Worth, Irving… I know you are over in the Fort Worth Metroplex, but I like tall trees, my memories are here, and I am closer to the parentals should they need me.   And a whole lot closer to all of you and the people in Dallas (Hi April!) and Allen (Hi Keni!) and Plano, Frisco etc…  But it’s expensive and I still need to climb out of debt from multiple years of unemployment, so it won’t be soon.
3. My coach told me to find / work on some business socializing this week…. that hasn’t worked out so well.
4. Perhaps she said this because I have been feeling terribly lonely lately. The Facebook changes have left this social media person feeling non social. I feel like its a news tickertape, not a friends one
5. I really enjoy programming,  re-programmed a theme for a client, tested it and found that it would not work.  Retrofitted an older theme with the new requirements, and new security, and it’s in place.   But there is not an app, or code, or Theme I can hack to make me “fit in” better. I feel like I have found more people like me, but coding and apps are much easier for me to understand, and I don’t like feeling like I can’t relate to people.
6. Currently working on publishing a book. The book is not perfect, nor do I intend it to be the greatest book ever, this is a case of conquering a fear and making a movement forward. and it went from rapidly moving forward to moving backwards in a week.   (Hey ask, better yet buy it… please!  PLEASE???)
7. On Halloween Salem my black cat will turn 12. The two dogs will turn 11 in November, it’s not easy to accept. So 3 of 4 pets is over 10, the 4th is 3.
8. The lab/rott was a stray who was abused, was wee bit OCD and not the brightest candle. After 8 years he’s learned his name, sit, no, “good boy”, “hush Butch,” which is repeated then sadly followed by… “Oh for the love of … SHUT UP!” and how open the back door, and how to eat a pop-ice.  (the KoolAid in a tube.)  Now that he’s older he has dementia/ senility. On his good days he understands some commands. On his bad days he thinks the shrubs are secretly plotting to kill him….  He doesn’t understand the people I say are ok… are ok. And I am secretly poisoning his food. (Seriously dude, I yank your mouth open and dig bad stuff you are trying to swallow out of your throat… I would have let you eat it if I didn’t care.)
9. I haven’t gone on a trip in almost 2 years, waiting for my budget to get better, I want to go camping soon, but I have no equipment.  I want to ask a friend to go with me… but I don’t know if I should
10. There was some social media work that needed to be done for a client. This was massively important. And all week the client said to wait… wait for this wait for that… then on Friday I was told it was done… but don’t do your job. And today (Monday) I got asked why I didn’t do it.
11. I spent a lot of Friday crying. Read the above…. and today when I was asked about the lack o’ social media, I broke down and bawled for another hour
12. It will get better. Maybe not tomorrow, but hopefully. Hopefully tomorrow the book gets closer, the cute secret becomes true… see a new friend again. Give her the coupon to the outback that needs using… hopefully in a month my book will have made sales, and an old friend will be back in town. I can plan to move and start working towards it, plan another book, and another… and another…. yes loads…

The truth is it will get better, even if today I feel beaten, bruised, and just want to have someone hug me and make me laugh… I guess I’ll laugh at puppies like these….

And here’s a bonus one…  One of my Articles was Published in “The Net Effect” and this is an issue that can be shared with people near and far!

Live, Laugh, SHARE THE ISSUE!

MJ Schrader